A Happy Fathers Day, excerpt
For me the idea of Fatherhood necessarily has to look at God’s Fatherhood and the Patriarchal system of the Old Testament.
The idea was God is Father of all who wants to bless us with all of His love and possessions, but demands love and righteousness in return.
God blessed Abraham and told him to move and God would make him a father of many nations and people. He would inherit the Land, the Seed and be a Blessing for all nations.
Abraham believed and obeyed God and it was accounted to him as Righteousness.
Abraham took his family and possessions and moved around the fertile crescent in the middle east from Ur (Babylon/Iraq/Iran) to Haran in Syria. He then went to Palestine.
As he moved his family continued grow as did his possessions. In short, he was somewhat of a nomad and his patriarchal family was actually a mini army. Abraham owned everything, but he bore the responsibility to provide, manage, guide and protect his entire family. This meant no one left behind. When his brother Lot and family were captured, Abraham defeated their captors and freed them. That’s what Patriarchal families do.
In modern society, they find this system offensive to women’s rights. But what they do not realize is that although the Patriarch owned everything, God’s anointing was upon him, he walked in the fear and direction of the LORD, and he was responsible for the care and well-being of everyone under him. That is a big responsibility to have to answer to God and the clan.
And he grew this into what we have today in the Christian gospel.
Now I am going to give you my tips to the fathers (of which I am one) and my tips to the children (of which I am one).
If I was asked how to be a successful father, I would say the following:
- Walk in the fear of the LORD, study the Word of God, and teach it to your children and your grandchildren
- Provide a Patriarchal foundation for your family. If your father or grandfather has provided this, then build upon it. If your father did not provide this then purpose in your heart to lay this foundation as you move forward.
- To provide a Patriarchal foundation, you must first create an honorable and just reputation: A “Name” of integrity. Be a man of your word and obey the rules of the land. If you do not have this name of integrity, it is never too late to turn that around. I have known people who society had given up on, turn into some of the most productive servants of Christ. These people are often more fervent for the Lord upon conversion because they have experienced the other side. It becomes a powerful testimony of the Grace of Jesus Christ. I ask you to begin today creating that patriarchal foundation for your future generations. Break the curse of the previous generations through the forgiveness of Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit today.
- Provide a loving and safe environment in your home. Deal with your family with compassion and love. After my house became full of children of age to argue with me and each other, I realized the necessity and instituted the follow rule. “No one in this house has the right to get mad.” If you get mad, separate until everyone has cooled down then come together and speak rationally with each other and resolve the issue.
- Never let the sun go down on your wrath.
- Eph 6:4 – Father’s do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the LORD. Colossians 3:21 – Father’s do not exasperate your children, so they will not lose heart.
Build Self Esteem and confidence. Give them the tools they need to succeed. Don’t ridicule your children or be ruthless with them.
- Never discipline your children in anger. Separate. Cool down. Discuss the problem and the punishment. Administer the punishment in measure of the offense and provide a way of redemption. If spanking, state the number of licks and use something like a bolo paddle that will sting but not bruise. After establishing this object as the point of fear, often you will never have to use it. You will merely have to go get it and put it in your back pocket handle down.
- Be a leader. Train up your children in the way they should go and they will not depart from it.
- I found this saying to work pretty good with my kids. “Work hard and Play hard….In that order.”
- When your children marry, be there for your children but do not be an intermeddler. For this reason shall a man leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife and they shall become one.
- I Timothy 3:2-5 – New International Version (NIV – Zondervan) is a passage that is usually considered in choosing a church leader, but it is actually a fatherhood checklist.
2 Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, 3 not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. 4 He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. 5 (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?)
New King James Version (NKJV – Nelson Publishing Company)- A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate, sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach; not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous; 4 one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence 5 (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?)
If you do this, then the reward is that your children will be like the arrows in the hand of a warrior. That is, your generations will be an advocate for the Gospel and the gates of hell shall not prevail against you.
For the Children.
I take you back to where we started today: The sixth commandment. You are demanded to honor your father and your mother that your days be long. It does not say, if they have treated you right. It is an absolute command. In fact, under the Mosaic Law in Exodus 21:17 God said “He who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death.” Do you think this was important to God?
King David understood the holiness and power of the anointing of the LORD and the necessity to give the anointing absolute honor. This is the same principle as your requirement to honor your father and your mother.
You can understand this when you consider the relationship between King David and King Saul. Saul was trying to kill David and although David had the opportunity to kill Saul, he refused to lay a hand on the LORD’s anointed king. That is heavy stuff, but it shows you that this honor of your parents regardless of how they have failed you is critical to your relationship with God the Father who has never failed you. If you have been wounded, it is imperative to your health and well-being to forgive your parents and pray for them that you may live long, prosperous and healthy lives.
If you hold an offense against your parents, forgive them and pray for their souls and restoration of your relationship.
If you hold an offense against your children, forgive them and pray for their souls and restoration of your relationship.
If you have offended your Parents repent before them and ask their forgiveness and tell them you love them.
If you have offended your children repent before them and ask their forgiveness and tell them you love them.
If your parents are awesome and there is no offense, then bless, honor and serve them and them all of their days.